Whether children are adopted as infants or when they are older, their adoption will influence their growth and development. Reading books, researching on the internet, taking parenting classes or talking to a development center may help parents understand and prepare for what they may face when they bring an adopted child into their family.
Adopted children may experience physical or developmental delays, especially if they have lived in an orphanage or foster care. They may develop attachment issues because they were shuffled from person to person during their first year of life. They may also experience separation anxiety or grief if they have attached to a person, such as a caretaker or foster parent, and then they are taken from that person. Adopted children may have trouble sleeping or eating. Children may feel a sense of abandonment or anger because their birth parents gave them up for adoption.
If adoptive children have questions, be as open and honest as possible. Let them know that it is okay to have questions about their adoption, birth parents or birth country. If an adopted child’s ethnicity or nationality differs from his/her adopted parents, he/she may question why he/she does not look like his/her adopted parents. Convey to them that it is understandable if they have questions or confusing emotions about being adopted.
If parents have little children, there are wonderful children’s books on the market that can aid parents in explaining adoption. Books such as “I Love You Like Crazy Cakes” by Rose A. Lewis, “I Don’t Have Your Eyes” by Carrie A. Kitze, “Happy Adoption Day” by John McCutcheon and “Tell Me Again About The Night I Was Born” by Jamie Lee Curtis help explain adoption in simple terms along with fancy illustrations.
It is not certain that every adopted child will have the same issues, feelings or questions, but it is beneficial to be prepared to address them if they do arise.
We have gathered some adoption related items from Amazon that can help you prepare for the process.